On Mother's Day, I took the first home pregnancy test that told me my life was about to change. Dave didn't know if he could trust something that told you anything that important just by "peeing on a stick". I took another one two days later and told him, "Well, I'm still pregnant." He was elated and couldn't wait to tell everyone, but he still wasn't 100% satisfied until I got the official result from a doctor.
After holding off for fifteen years (mostly at my insistence trying to wait for "the right time"), we'd been trying for a few months... and it happened pretty quickly. We're probably the only couple in our group of friends to have children so late in life, but I like to think that gives us a bit of an edge in some ways. Now I just have to hope that everything goes alright with my pregnancy and that we have a healthy baby.
Eating hasn't been an easy thing. The first few weeks (before I knew) weren't a problem, but this last month I've been nauseous all day long. I've finally started forcing myself to eat, and I think it's actually helping. I've read that the nausea generally goes away after the first trimester for most women but that it lingers throughout the pregnancy for some women. I'm just crossing my fingers that I'm in the former camp.
My mom's been waiting for this for years - dropping hints and reminding me that there will never be a "perfect time". She's already been out hunting for cribs and is wanting to take me out soon to start looking for maternity clothes. At just a little over two months along and with the nausea causing me to lose over five pounds over the last two weeks, I'm not showing in the slightest yet. I know it won't be too long, but I really don't want to think about maternity clothes right now.
Aside from the nausea and constantly feeling exhausted, I'm not feeling any different yet. I know you're really not supposed to at this point, but for some reason I always thought that I'd know and that I would feel different. It's going to happen eventually (feeling and seeing the changes and raising this new life), but now I'm not sure if I'm ready for it.
It's scary thinking about adding a little human to our lives. We've always managed to scrape by and take care of ourselves and our animals one way or another, but this is truly going to be a drastic change. Not that we didn't think about that or realize it beforehand... just that it's different when you know it's actually going to happen. If that makes any sense. I always pictured myself as a parent someday, but I was starting to grow accustomed to the idea of Dave and I just being a happily married couple without kids. Now the uncertainty has been setting in, and I've been wondering about our future and the baby's. Life happens, and I'm sure we'll just deal with everything as it comes... but it's hard to stop stressing about something so life altering.
In other thoughts, I think I need to get Dave to watch some more Super Nanny episodes. :P
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